HALF OF ME: LOVING SOMEONE WHEN YOU'RE LEARNING TO LOVE YOURSELF

It’s strange how a single line from a song can find the exact place you’ve been trying to hide from. That’s how I felt when I heard Half A Man by Dean Lewis for the first time.

“But how am I supposed to love you when I don’t love who I am?”

That line hit right into my heart. Not because they were beautiful or well-written — but because they were me. Word for word, feeling for feeling. It felt like someone reached inside me, grabbed the mess I’ve been hiding, and said it out loud.

I’ve carried this heaviness inside for a long time. Most people won’t see it. I laugh, I talk, I act like everything’s fine. But inside, I fight this voice that constantly tells me I’m not enough. That I'm too insecure, too uncertain to be loved properly. And when you feel like that, being in love with someone who sees you as everything is both beautiful and terrifying.

Because you start to wonder how can I hold onto something this good, when I’m not even sure about myself? How do I give someone all of me when there are days I can’t even stand myself?

That line wasn’t just a lyric to me. It was a reflection. A painful one. It reminded me of every silent breakdown, every night I overthought his love for me, every time I questioned why he stays when I keep pulling away. It reminded me that no matter how deeply I love him, there’s still a part of me that doesn’t feel worthy of it.

And that’s a hard to live with it.

Hearing that line made me realise how much of myself I still need to face. Maybe that’s what broke me the most — not the words themselves, but how true they were.

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